We’re about halfway through summer. I’m not looking at a calendar to figure out the astronomical reckoning of the season, I just know the longest day of the year is behind us. The days are still hot but the nights are getting shorter. The garden has stopped its aggressive growing and is looking rather weepy some days, yet we’re starting to pluck some ripe and juicy tomatoes from their stalks. The corn on the cob is sweet as candy and root beer floats never tasted better. It’s the middle of summer. Glorious, golden summer.

Because of the long, full hours of sunshine, there are days when I can’t get myself to come inside. Before I know it, suppertime has passed and I haven’t done a thing to get a meal on the table. When that happens I have to think fast to come up with something that doesn’t heat up the kitchen and can be pulled together in a jiff. So far this summer I’ve managed to assemble a decent meal every time without much trouble.

The answer? Salads. Fruit and cheese salad, caprese salad (a great way to use up those tomatoes), tuna, egg and chicken salad. I’ve developed a new appreciation for tossed green salad now that I make my own dressing. A basic dressing of olive oil, vinegar, spicy mustard and honey or molasses is quick, easy and so much better than store-bought. (Some people say store-boughten. I looked it up and, as much as I hate to say it, boughten is correct as an adjective. Please don’t use it around me though—it hurts my ears.) In our tossed salad we add carrots, celery, tomatoes (there they are again), Craisins, toasted almonds, pepitas, sunflower seeds and feta cheese and we have a feast!

~oOo~

I’d like to thank Bill S. for sending some of these deeply meaningful thoughts for today’s column. Much like dinner, I needed something quick and easy after spending all day outdoors:

• I joined a new procrastinator’s group. It’s called Wait Watchers.

• Why are dad jokes the best way to get into a locked house? Because they are a little door-key.

• Why did the pirates go to the movie? Because it was rated Rrrrr.

• I tried to come up with a carpentry pun that woodwork. I think I nailed it.

• Attention! Everyone waiting for yodeling lessons please form an orderly orderly orderly queue.

• When does a joke turn into a dad joke? When it becomes apparent!

• What’s the opposite of a stink bug? Deodor-ant.

• Can February march? No, but April may.

• What do you call a french guy in sandals? Phillipe Phloppe.

• What do you call bears with no ears? B–.

• I wonder what my parents did to overcome boredom before the internet. I asked my 17 brothers and sisters and they don't know either.

• A volunteer was entertain patients in a hospital. He visited one hospital in Fort Collins and brought along his portable keyboard. After telling jokes and singing songs, he said farewell and, “I hope you get better.” One gentleman laid up with his leg in a sling replied, “I hope you get better, too.”

•How does a cucumber become a pickle? It goes through a jarring experience.

• I was going to ask the drummer to play again…but then I decided I didn’t want to hear the repercussions.

• Miss Marian, why is that book so thick? Well, it’s a long story.

• You can tune a guitar, but you can't tuna fish.

• There was a kidnapping at school but he eventually woke up.

• Hairdressers are never late for work because they know all the short cuts.

• The trouble with being the best man at a wedding is that you never get to prove it. The maid of honor? She has plenty of chances to prove that.

• For a period, Houdini used a trap door in every single show he did. It was a stage he was going through.

• What did the left eye say to the right eye? Between you and me, something smells.

Th-Th-The, Th-Th... That's all, folks!

You may let The Thunker know what you think at her e-mail address, donoholdt@gmail.com.

© 2022 Sarah Donohoe